Once I served a mission and then came home, the phrase, "When I was on my mission..." made a lot more sense to me.
I didn't grow up in the LDS world. I'm not innately familiar with the culture of members but I think five years is enough time (especially being at BYU) to recognize that there is a large group of people that literally HATE this phrase with every fiber of their being. I never thought much about that.
Why do they dislike this so much? Is it because people talked too much about their mission? Is it the way they talked about their mission? Do they just hate missions for some reason? If I think back to pre-mission life I feel that if I was ever irritated by someone it was because they literally started every story with those exact words. The thought ugh, talk about something else for a change might have popped into my mind...
After coming home and being back at BYU (now absolutely full of returned missionaries) I realized that I felt I hadn't heard that phrase recently. Did people STOP using it? Statistically that couldn't have been true... if there were more returned missionaries shouldn't that basically be the only thing I heard nowadays? I decided to pay special attention that week...
I found that this phrase is NOT dead. It is very much alive.
WHAT? Why wasn't I noticing as much? Am I just less observant now? No.
I thought about it... and I came to the conclusion: I don't notice as much because I GET it now! I understand why these people talk so much about their missions and why that's cool and why it's okay that they do.
WHEN I WAS ON MY MISSION, I learned more about the Gospel than I ever had. In a very real way I started to understand the principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and see why they were important for me personally... which in turn made me understand why I was a missionary and WHY I choose daily to follow the Savior (and also chose to invite others, daily, to follow the Savior :).
WHEN I WAS ON MY MISSION, I learned how to really feel the Spirit. Before I was a missionary I think I never really felt a true and evident and obvious prompting. Once in Toulouse I was on the metro and this guy standing a few inches from me was staring at my tag. I asked if he believed in Jesus Christ and he said yes, it was important for his family. We hit our stop and he got off and so did we. I didn't think much of the exchange (metro contacting is like that sometimes) and as we were walking my companion was talking with someone else. I saw this man up ahead of us. I can't really describe the feeling I had... it was almost like panic. I felt so strongly I needed to go after him but I denied it (I am foolish, I know) but the feeling came again and even stronger... "GO!" so I basically ran to him and was like PLEASE do you want to learn more about Jesus Christ and how that is going to help your family? He smiled and said yes, he had been looking for something exactly like that. He didn't actually live in our area so some other sisters were teaching him... they taught him a lot. He is a beautiful man. I don't know what happened to him, but that experience taught me a lesson about "receiving promptings and following them courageously (see PMG)."
WHEN I WAS ON MY MISSION, I learned about myself in a very... personal way. That sounds weird, but you have to understand that a mission highlights all of your faults and weaknesses. All of them. Consider Ether 12:27, basically "... if men come unto me I will show unto them their weaknesses." That is a promise and it is a true promise. As you spend all your time with one person and trying to help others you start to realize that you are prideful (almost everyone is at least a tiny bit prideful), or maybe impatient, or maybe not very nice all the time, or ... the list goes on. Usually it is not a short list. This was not an easy realization for me. I was sure down in the dumps for a while and thoughts like, "I am the worst person" were on my mind all the time. Then I realized that Heavenly Father certainly wouldn't want me to feel that way... and also I realized that it had to be positive knowing about all my weaknesses because knowing them gives me the opportunity to change and improve and be nicer, more patient, less prideful, etc. Long story short, you realize that you need lots of humility in order to be a happy missionary and live a successful life as a companion, friend, child, parent, spouse, etc.
WHEN I WAS ON MY MISSION, I discovered the scriptures in a way that completely changed my view on everything I ever knew about the Gospel. Sure, I had "read" the Book of Mormon and other scriptures before my mission... but when I got into the MTC I had a moment where I realized, I have to go to France and tell people I know this book is true... I need to know if it's true. So I sat down and read and read and read every single day and finished the Book of Mormon. People say this a lot but I was almost convinced that it wasn't the same book I had read the first time. I found insights into doctrines I had never noticed, I received answers to questions I had, and I found out how much the Book of Mormon testifies of the Savior. This pattern continued throughout my mission and each time I found specific answers to my questions and even for my investigators.
WHEN I WAS ON MY MISSION, I learned that miracles are real. THEY ARE REAL. They are not just stories in the Bible that we talk about it but they are real and they are happening today and to every person. In Limoges, me and my companion felt we were kind of in a drought... until we received a phone call out of nowhere from a woman that had been searching for the Church her entire life and had lost contact several times since she had been moving around and somehow... miraculously... found an old number for our chapel and somehow got ahold of a member that happened to be there... okay. You get it. There is absolutely nothing we could have done as missionaries to make that miracle happen other than be worthy and prepared to receive it. God loves us. HE LOVES US. He will bless us and guide us and for her it was a miracle to find us and for us... it was a miracle to find her. Each day is full of little miracles and blessings and I never saw them until I opened my eyes.
WHEN I WAS ON MY MISSION, I found a relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior that I never had before. I believed they were there and listening but I never felt deep down and in a very real way... that they lived and loved me. It was through the highs (the times when you can't stop crying because you feel so much joy) and the lows (the kinds where you feel like your heart is being ripped out) that you start to feel their presence. They are joyful when you are and they weep when you weep. It was through prayer (sharing my day, expressing gratitude, asking questions) that I started to understand how real they are and how present they are in my life... every day, every minute.
I could keep going, but I won't.
My point is... all the good things about who I am and the things are do are because of my mission. At least 95% (just to be safe). I learned how to live the Gospel! ... and I hope everything I do is in line with living the Gospel. Of course I am going to talk about my mission and share those experiences because they define me and everything I know about the Savior and his teachings.
Now here is the very important and CRUCIAL part to what I am saying... this does not last forever. Yes, everyone will talk about cool stories from their mission. That will probably never go away (and it shouldn't, these experiences can be beneficial to everyone -- I'm thinking our posterity, to be specific). However, HOWEVER... these cannot be the experiences we base our testimony on forever.
For me, the things I learned and saw as a missionary are the solid foundation of my testimony and how I want to live my life... but if these are the only experiences I have for several years then I would see that my current life is lacking spiritual experiences to keep my testimony where it should be: renewed and replenished every day. As a returned missionary I should be feeling the Spirit during scripture study and talking with my Heavenly Father on a regular basis. I should be seeing miracles everywhere and still trying to change and be a better person. In 20 years from now I hope I can pull from recent experiences to teach someone about a point of doctrine.
I'm sure I will still talk about my mission 20 years from now. I hope I do. But... I hope that when I am racking my brain for a miracle story to tell, I don't have to go all the way back to my fifth transfer to testify that I know miracles are real. Was that transfer the basis of my testimony of the reality of miracles? Yes. I just need to start there and then keep moving forward. NOW I know miracles are real. NOW I know the Book of Mormon is true. NOW I know that Heavenly Father answers prayers. Now the question is, what am I going to do with it?
We can work with that :) Try and understand your RM friends. Their missions changed them and they are going to want to share part of that understanding with you. It's natural. I know it's natural because I am in their shoes.
I loved my mission with all my heart and I find often (I'm sure most returned missionaries do) that it is hard for me to express my feelings toward the things I saw and learned. These experiences touched me deeply. My religion professor shared something with us last week that really rang true for me. He asked us to think back to a really spiritual experience that we have had... and then asked us if we had ever tried to share that experience. He said, "You probably walked away feeling a little... hollow... right?" That's because your experience may have touched them but there is no way they can really know what it was like to live in that moment that touched you so much. And that's okay. It's these types of things that solidify the foundation of our testimony so we can keep building it up.
Just think about this, when is the last time you really felt you received an answer from Heavenly Father? Did you recognize it? Did you act on it? Do you feel like this happens often?
